Is Judgement Day tomorrow? If it is, then I completely missed the memo. It seems like everything (mainly everyone) around me is falling apart. I’m at the point right now where I give up. I thought for the longest time that most of my closeknit friends (and family members) were freethinkers and stayed true to themselves (and would stay true to themselves). It feels as if I fell asleep one night to the world I knew and I woke up to find a world in crisis & in shambles. I wish I could save these people that I care deeply for, because the path(s) that they’re on are on their way to disaster and disaster will come sooner than the end of the tunnel. I’m not trying to say that I’m perfect, but I wake up every morning trying to think of ways to fix my flaws and strengthen my positive attributes. Most naive people in their teens and early twenties search for one thing and one thing alone, and that is instant gratification. Instant gratification is the sole demise of America, it’s the reason we piss of almost every other country, it’s the reason we’re all obese, lung cancer, STDs, all of the above. A lot of people I know have said terrible things about my personality, morals, overall design as a person, claiming that the fact that I don’t do drugs/drink is because I’m afraid. To me, people that are afraid of life are the ones that self medicate with a 40 oz bottle and a handful of pills. I’ve witnessed death, I’ve severed ties with people I thought were friends that cared more about getting high than living life, and I’ve seen addictions start at the drop of a hat among a lot of people I care for. My best friend’s life was taken because of drugs (meth), and so was my mom’s (morphine) and multiple friends and family members (who will remain nameless for the time being) have been in & out of hospitals and rehab from overdosing on everything from pain pills to meth and they went to rehab mainly for their addictions to alcohol. It blows my mind how many people choose drugs over life/health, they just want a permanent escape from their reality, they’re caved in so they try and make a door with drugs but that just leads to another dead in. Which brings me to my next point, Pittman & I drove to Jacksonville,IL today to go to my brother Matt’s graduation. While we were at Taco Bell, he was telling me about all of the drugdealers in Jacksonville, because in most small towns their form of recreation is drugs. He brought up the name Jamie (i’ll leave his last name off of here) which may not mean much to you, but I’ve known him since I was in 7th grade and this kid had a bright future ahead of him. He could play basketball like no one that I had ever met before. He played ball up through High School and then graduated High School the same day I did, but he had no money to go to college (so in turn he had no chance to prove his skills to anyone). I have no doubt in my mind that this kid could’ve been a great college player and could’ve even made strides towards the NBA with enough practice, but as the saying goes leave the town before it consumes you. He didn’t leave and he got messed up in drugdealing. I could go on with this all day, but to me they’re worthless. I’d rather have the people that hate me, hate me fore who I am; than the people who like me, like me for what I’m not. STAY TRUE xxx