I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought things had been going better with Morgan and I, then randomly she’s M.I.A. for 4 days (turns out it’s because her exes are psycho) and now it’s in a weird situation again. I went to Warped Tour today which was all well and fine. When I got home, I realized that Morgan’s comments to me weren’t on my page anymore. I realized that she had deleted her FB page. I then texted her asking about her day and her trip she’s taking to visit her nephew and asked if she deleted her page. She decided to delete like everyone of her social networking sites to get her priorities in order, and to rest, recoup, & meditate. She says she just needs air and space. I love her. I may not know many things in life, but that’s one thing that I know for sure. I also don’t know many things about my future, but I definitely want her in my life. I never truly knew how much someone could love another until I met her. She’s everything that I’ve always looked for and then some. So to have to go long periods of time without seeing her and sometimes without even talking to her. It just gets rough. Now, on top of that, I don’t even have her pictures to look at or her poetry to read to help ease my mind. I wish I knew what the future had in store, because I can’t quit living like this, but then again without her in my life, there’s not much out there that’s worth living for. She’s always on my mind and in my heart. Now the only ways I can communicate with her are via text and email and the only picture I can see of her is the one she sent me to my phone a couple months ago. I just wish that she could see that I’m nothing like her exes. Anyone that knows me for more than five minutes could tell you that. I genuinely want to show her how great she is and I never want her to get hurt again. I saw this girl at Warped Tour today that had no hair…completely shaved, including her eyebrows. My assumption is that she’s a cancer patient. My first thought was I’d still love Morgan if she was bald. Idc if Morgan became blind, deaf, disabled, or had to have her head & eyebrows shaved. She would still be the same gorgeous woman to me. People think that cynicism is the breeding ground for most of my thoughts, but trust me I truly believe in my heart everything that I’ve said so far. I don’t care if she decided to never wear makeup again and to only wear sweatpants and hoodies for the rest of her life. I personally think she looks gorgeous without makeup. I just hate that I don’t know what the future has in store. I know that I’m in love with her, so trying to “move on”, isn’t fair to my heart. I will give her all the time that s he needs to clear her had and get her priorities in order. I just hope that I’m a priority. Since she started this internship I honestly don’t know how she feels about me anymore. Like we saw Toy Story 3 together last week and it was really cute & sweet. Since then, I’ve only seen her once and that was for 10 minutes on Saturday at her house. I pray to God about this multiple times a day and I’m hoping that he’ll answer my prayers some day soon. I’ve been rejected by girls before and have been able to bounce back up and forget about them. Morgan isn’t one of those girls. I seriously am madly in love with her. Once again none of my friends, enemies or acquaintances wants to believe me. Everyone that I’ve come in contact with in the last couple months has more or less told me that I don’t deserve love because I’m hideous. The sad thing is that I bought into that philosophy for awhile and still to a degree, but I’ve never wanted to fight for someone so much in my life. She’s worth every tear that I shed, every sleepless night spent thinking about her, and everything that I have. A few months back I was at rock bottom, I was to the point where suicide was a very real option for me. Then one day Morgan sat by me and I was in awe from “Hello”. I truly believe that she saved me. I’ve never told her that & probably never will. All I know is that she’s the only person that has made me happy the past few months. She makes me feel emotions that I didn’t even knew existed. If I end up with her, then nothing in my past even matters. She’s all that matters to me. She means too much for me to just give up. She’s worth fighting for.