Do you ever get to a point in your life where you just sort of say “Fuck It!”, because nothing that you do seems good enough? This is the feeling I wake up to, go to sleep to, and generally live day to day by. I disappoint myself regularly and I tend to beat myself over it. If I fail a test or at least do poorly on it (which has been a very common occurrence as of late), I get really upset and think to myself “Wow, what a worthless piece of shit”…I don’t work, because I’m lazy. I never seem to do well enough in school, no matter how hard I try. Giving up is not an option, no matter how bad I feel about the failure I accomplish in everyday life, I can’t drop out of school. If I even made one step in that situation I would feel terrible, I’m pretty sure a lot of my family would disown me and I would have no future whatsoever. The competition for everything is so fierce nowadays, it’s insane. They push the issue even more in college, in everyone of my classes this semester at least once, our teachers have mentioned the fact that if you don’t go to Graduate school then we will not have a job 10 years from now. Hmm, let me think about that. So we go to school for 13 years of our life and are then told that those 13 years were wasted. Then when we graduate High School we go to college and waste half a decade (or more) there and receive a Bachelor’s degree, but it doesn’t stop there! We then acknowledge that the Bachelor’s degree is worthless…so we waste two decades of our life to get a piece of paper that is useful for a decade, but then if we’re fired from that point on we will have to go to school for another half decade just to get a job? Sometimes I wish I lived in another country. Don’t get me wrong, America has a LOT of things that I would miss, but a lot of things about different parts of this country disgust me and the fact that technology has gotten so far that it pretty much runs our lives and that everyone is going to college now, so that getting a job right out of college is almost next to impossible. This whole post is just one large jumbled mess, full of me venting, but it’s something I think about on a pretty much daily basis.